Features

In our ever-expanding search across this ever-spinning globe of ours for all things of analog-oriented interest, we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to drop this one on the AP faithful: Bay Area alt-punk progenitors Green Day have gone all-out punk personified with their Dookie Demastered project, billed as “the way it was never meant to be heard,” featuring 15 truly alternative format options, if ever there were.

Before I delve into what those options are, I should also point out that, for the record, Green Day did indeed celebrate the proper 30th anniversary of Dookie, their February 1994 breakthrough, double-diamond-selling album (i.e., 20 million copies sold worldwide) on Reprise with a massive 6LP deluxe edition box set that features the main album on LP1, previously unreleased 4-track demos and cassette demos on LP2, outtakes on LP3, their 10-track Live at Woodstock (1994) performance on LP4, and a vibrant 17-song set duly dubbed Live in Barcelona (June 5 ’94) on LP5 and LP6.

The Dookie vinyl box set also came with some other vital add-on/roll-on items, such as a five-button set, air freshener, postcard, bumper sticker, kiss-cut large magnet sheet, paper airplane, roll of dog poop bags, and a black-and-white “Coloring Page” cover litho insert, in addition to a poster of the alternate cover art. The big Dookie box has an SRP of $174.99, and you can order it from Music Direct here, and/or via the link graphic above, if that concept happens to float your bowl, er, boat.

Now, before any of you completely flush the Dookie Demastered idea from your staunch AAA-centric minds, first check out what’s what with it via the YouTube clip below — and then read on.

Intrigued? Well, to dig into it all a bit further, Dookie Demastered, in the Green Day team’s own inimitable words, purports to have taken the core Dookie album and “re-exploded [it] onto 15 obscure, obsolete, and otherwise inconvenient limited-edition formats.” Among these quite novel formats include (yes) a wax cylinder, 8-track tape, X-ray LP, Fisher Price LP, piano roll, music box, and more.

To hear exactly what you’re in for, all 15 formats can be played/sampled via this link. If you’re hooked (yes, that’s a Big Mouth Billie Bass reference, sorry/not sorry), then don’t delay, as there is a formal drawing you’ll need to enter for your chance to buy any of them — and the limited, available quantities do vary, track by track. That drawing, which is powered by BRAIN (noted as a “very serious art studio based in Los Angeles, CA”) and EQL (a company that handles fan-oriented product launches), ends on Friday, October 11, 2024, at 8a.m. PT/11a.m. ET. (Yep, that’s tomorrow!)

Here’s the part where the highest of the high-enders amongst us may balk. Instead of, and in their words again, quote, “smoothing out its edges and tweaking its dynamic ranges, this version of Dookie has been meticulously mangled to fit on formats with uncompromisingly low fidelity, from wax cylinders to answering machines to toothbrushes. The listening experience is unparalleled, sacrificing not only sonic quality, but also convenience, and occasionally entire verses. It’s Dookie, the way it was never meant to be heard.”

True, that statement is perhaps anathema to the audiophile experience — but we also have to consider all corners of the overall analog planet writ large given the broadening scope of our audience, what these alternate listening options entail, how they compare to our preferred listening experiences, how they actually sound, and also examine the relative curiosity and collectability factors alike. (Some of you may choose to adopt a Triumph the Insult Comic Dog response/stance in regard to that previous statement, and that’s certainly within your right to do so.)

Naturally, I reached out to Green Day’s crack team to determine the source material used for these “inconvenient” formats, where they were pressed and/or manufactured, and if there were any interesting tales to tell regarding how easy and/or how difficult it was to get any of them to the finish line. Certain techie/spec info has yet to be confirmed as of this post (and I’ll update things here accordingly if I do get them), while some of the provided stats have been relayed with tongue firmly in cheek(s) fashion, so here we go. For the most part, I’m leaving the respective items’ original descriptions as is, followed by limited editorial interjection afterward in parenthetical form.

Wax cylinders revolutionized music, making the mass distribution of recorded music possible for the first time. Now, one century later, Green Day’s “When I Come Around” is available on a 2-minute wax cylinder, ready to be heard on gramophone. If only Edison had lived long enough to see it. Run time is 2:06, rotation speed is given as 160rpm, recording method is given as “Hill and dale,” and the “best played on” suggestion is the Model C. (MM adds: I freely admit to entering the drawing for this one. I mean, why not?)

Recorded to the dominant magnetic tape format of the ’60s and ’70s, “Sassafras Roots” is now easier than ever to enjoy on your 8-track hi-fi system at home or in the passenger seat of your ’67 Camaro, driving toward the sunset with high school behind you and your whole life in front of you. Like any 8-track, it includes 4 programs. Unlike most 8-tracks, it only includes one song. (MM adds: Yeah, I entered for this one too. I’d actually angle to play it in my ’67 Mustang Fastback — if we still owned one, that is.)

X-ray records, also known as “ribs” or “bone music,” originated in the USSR in the 1950s as a way to bootleg banned Western music. By cutting grooves into actual X-rays, music could be copied and distributed outside official channels. Green Day’s “Coming Clean” has been etched into real X-rays in this same method, creating a recording that is uniquely unmatched in its specifically terrible quality. Run time is 1:35, speed is suggested as (good luck) 70rpm, fidelity is quantified as “rough,” and body parts are IDed as “varies.” (MM adds: Might this one be the perfect scratchy companion to Tom Waits’ “Bone Machine”. . .?)

Captured on perhaps the most revolutionary musical format of the jazz age, this arrangement of Green Day’s “Burnout” is compatible with most player pianos manufactured in the past 100 years. Lyrics have been printed alongside the margin, making it easy for friends and acquaintances to sing along in your parlor, drawing room, or saloon. Tempo is suggested as 70. Piano not included. (MM adds: Now, imagine this piano roll being used by Fitzgerald Fortune [Barry Morse] in the classic February 16, 1962, Twilight Zone episode, “A Piano in the House” [Season 3, Episode 22], and which birthday partygoer would respond to it.)

Crank it as long as you want with “All by Myself,” arranged for the first time on a hand-cranked, clear acrylic music box. Run time is 0:18. (MM adds: Might make for a thoughtful holiday gift-cum-stocking stuffer for your loved one of choice.)

And there you have it. To wrap things up, the following is a listing of all 15 of Green Day’s Dookie Demastered tracks, their respective formats, and their entry price. Happy Demastering, y’all!

GREEN DAY
DOOKIE DEMASTERED

Formats (and entry prices)

1. Burnout – Player Piano Roll ($49)
2. Having A Blast – Floppy Disk ($19)
3. Chump – Teddy Ruxpin ($99)
4. Longview – Doorbell ($49)
5. Welcome To Paradise – Game Boy Cartridge ($39)
6. Pulling Teeth – Toothbrush ($49)
7. Basket Case – Big Mouth Billie Bass ($79)
8. She – HitClip ($29)
9. Sassafras Roots – 8-Track ($19)
10. When I Come Around – Wax Cylinder ($49)
11. Coming Clean – X-Ray Record ($49)
12. Emenius Sleepus – Answering Machine ($49)
13. In The End – MiniDisc ($19)
14. F.O.D. – Fisher Price Record ($19)
15. All By Myself – Music Box ($19)